A long time ago, when I was in Cegep, every day was filled with joy because I was going to school. I don’t know how (really, I don’t), but I was able to wake up early even if I didn’t have class in the morning in order to go to school. It is in part due to the fabulous people and friends I had there, but also because I was learning much about topics that really interested me.
I am feeling the same way since I entered university. This is my place. I know a lot of people who, for years, just wished to finally graduate and work, and this is really fine. They now have a good job, a lot of working experience and more money than me! I kind of envy this stability in their life, the fact that they have a career where I don’t even know what kind of job I will have with my diploma. But if I live in the present moment, I can’t say that these friends are happier than me.
If doing a Ph.D. is a job, then I love it! Learning, reading, learning again, thinking about historical problems and solving them, meeting new people, being a TA : all these aspects of the graduate studies are appealing to me. There are, of course, moments of despair, and anxiety. But overall, I just love too much the academia life. I wish I could study all my life… or being a professor.
I know I won’t have the money to study until my death (some rich person wants to help?), and the chances of me teaching one day are small. But I am glad that this feeling I first have in Cegep, this passion for studying history, didn’t disappear, and that I turn out being able to pursue this passion until grad school.
Now, I just have to find something as interesting to do for the next 35-40 years before I retire!
Cover photo by geralt // Pixabay