One of my good friends just finished her PhD. Another brilliant friend of mine is working very fast and I am quite sure she won’t be long before submitting her thesis. A colleague, much younger than me, is already writing his dissertation. All of them started their PhD at the same time or after me. And in some way, I am jealous.

I remember doing my master thesis in less than two years – with a term of undergraduate classes since I was coming from Classical studies. I used to work all day long, during the evening, a little bit on the weekend. I was also doing some research contracts. And I had time to sleep.

With two kids, it is not the same. I am happy to have them, I am happy to be able to spend a lot of time with them, I am happy to be a relatively young mother. They are able to make me think about stuff other than history and I am grateful for that.

But when I look at my PhD curriculum, it’s not great. I am taking way more time than others to read, research, write. I am almost never attending conferences. I am spending more time and money (because scholarship end at some point) to do what I am sure would have been easier to do without kids. And since I don’t stop (parents don’t have week-ends), I am tired on all fronts.

I know I will finish eventually, but I can’t help it: I am a little bit envious toward graduate students without children. But I also know everybody struggles with something. And that I have a good situation. So I will stop complaining and return to work.

Banner Image by @fanniedee // @gradlifemcgill