I don’t want a summer job.

All year, I was supported by my Teaching Assistantship, my scholarship, grants, and bursaries, and my *ahem* parents.  I am in the mood to make music, to be a poor artist, to declare my passion and refuse to do anything else.

What to do, what to do?

I have no idea how much money I can make in one week just by busking in the metro, but this is the current plan.  If I absolutely must, I will look for a part-time job, but how fantastic will it be to make money doing what I am actually certified to do by McGill University?

I have had to come up with a philosophical reason for this, of course, to appease imposed societal obligations on my conscience which make me feel guilty for not having rushed out the minute classes ended to get a respectable arts administration summer intership or something of the sort.  The question I am asking in response to those who ask me what I am doing this summer is: How can I be expected to be able to accept invitations to perform if every spare minute of my time is full of minimum-wage latte-making or having teenage tourists screaming orders at me for 10 dirty hooker shooters over the pounding, nondescript dance beats on Crescent Street?  This seems like a practical question, but in reality it is a matter of principle.

It is my firm belief that you must make room for the things that you truly want in your life.  For example, if you want to meet more people, you have to stop watching TV every night and join a book club or learn to dance instead.  If you want to have more positivity in your life, you have to learn to ’empty’ or clear your mind of negative thoughts before you fill your mind with positive ones.  Built it and they will come.  Good things come to those who wait.  I must do my part to sustain my quality of life and basic human needs, but I also need to make sure I am actually doing what I want to do in life.

This is terrifying for me.  I have always been the person that has it all under control.  It is time for me to let go of the control and see where the current takes me.

And if you see a young lady singing opera in the metro this summer, toss me a loonie, ok?